song o' the night

its clearly

the measure of love - tj mccloud

damn jeffrey for sending me this song
which is both the awesome, and genuinely applicable.

argh.

this song is a sigh inducer.
theres that damn "l" word again hey?
a-parent-ly Craig loved this girl...
I know Im freakish about this--
and your free to tell me you love me anytime
you want. Its just the only word I have, and I
have alot of meaning stacked on top of it,
and that makes me wish people wouldn't toss it
around so.

"if the measure of love is this..."

I want to say that Im not expecting to hear from you until Tueday.
I want you to be able to enjoy the festival to its fullest.
I'll have written some more by then.

its 7.11am Faith, so I hope your still sleeping.
I go now. But Ill keep thinking about you for at least
17 more minutes.

my past at last

I have so much that I want to tell you...
Im already a day behind

wait...the one thing that I wanted to
do was go through John uno.
Ill do that...

John 1 is longer than I thought
but Ill go through abit of it.

"In the beginning was the word..."

I don't like this translation...
you know that Im not a biblical literalist...
(not today anyway)
I think that when people quote this verse
as proof of the divine and unchanging nature of scripture
they are mis-interpreting.

its seems an oversimplification to translate logos as "word"
I often forget that the bible wasnt created in void,
and the influence of classical greek thought on the early
christian writers seems widespread...
the concept of "logos" seems to have been pulled
directly from plato.
stupid language...
(I might be making that up)
it limits us, especially when it comes to G-d
"we aren't capable of speaking of the most important things"
and so are forced to use the broad brushes of comparison...


oki, I could for hours about this first line...
but Im not going to

Joh 1:4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
-love this line. what dense and profound writing.

Joh 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
-what does this mean? is John talking about Satan? do you believe in a literal lucifer?
this is something that Ive yet to take a stand on. I should really just take a month and
wade through as much material as I can find...then write what I think down in pencil.

Joh 1:11 He came to His own, and His own received Him not.
-the Jewish people? I still don't know what I think about the idea of
G-d having a "chosen" people. It seems unfair to my discernment...
though I suppose that doesn't mean very much.

Joh 1:18 No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.
-I dont want to assume...but this seems like a contridiction to me. The concordance is telling me that "seen" is closer to "discern clearly". This makes more sense to me, as the OT has several occasions where G-d is "seen". I don't understand this passage, Ill look into it more

Im not sure how vocal one has to be

about their beliefs Faith...

I have a tendency (to a fault) to think

in strategic terms,

and by that logic I would have to say...

whatever amount is pragmatic.

I don't know that words mean very much now.

Better to give a testament with our lifes...I think

Im not sure "what I life following G-d" means either...

how much are we to give up? everything?

sometimes it seems like that...

its a strange time to be a christian.

I have more to say about that...

but Ill stop for now.

I think that I've found a church to go to...

or at least, one Im going to try.

Im not sure how important going to church is--

hear me out--I do think its important that we be aware

and in "communion" with "the body"...but as for showing

up one place at one time...Im not so sure.

I dont know alot of Christians here though.

Fortunately customer number 3 on Jae's top three customers of the

day was. His wife spent 4 years doing missions in Nepal and India,

and he had some of the finest facial hair I have ever seen...

based on these things alone I hope I see more of them.

He was nice enough, after the time we'd spent talking,

to give me his number so I could go with him.

Thank G-d

Customer number 2 -- in case you were wondering

was the sassy genetics student that made ken and I

try on lab-coats and pose...then stole not one...but two oranges.

The number 1 spot goes to the little girl that wanted so badly

to have glasses. She was wearing them upside down, which,

she informed me...was cute.

then she told me mine were cute too.

(this my have been what pushed her to number 1)

a word about Ken.

I like him...and I think we will end up being friends.

I told him today that I would like to hang out with him "sometime"

which he took to mean that we should go out rocking tomorrow...

Ill let you know most of what happens.

Im really considering this grifting thing though...

it might not be such a bad summer after all...

excepting the whole insane missing you thing.

talked to Craig W. tonight.

again. about his girl.

In the end...my advice was out-voted.

It seems that he wants "love" to be safe...

I cant see how that can be.

It seems to me to be an inherently risky venture.

I fight all the time with the idea of withdrawing from you,

being less open, all in the interest of safety.

But I just like you too damn much.

Your worth getting hurt over.

alright...Im going to close this one off...

and do my horrible "song of the night" thing.

Im going to promise myself that I wont write you again tonight...

not because I don't want to...

but because I should run, and do some fictional writing.

kenn ... dressed to kill 

the g-ma - she is a hipster 

zebra town

I have this incredible urge to call you this morning...
don't worry, Ill fight it.

silent sigh

work...long
coffee good

it was interesting though...
or, at least, Im going to try and
make it SOUND interesting.

later, that is.
the only really important thing though
is that Ive decided to once again
start grifting...my crew is in works.

tbc

I've lost my place

I am le tired this morning...
so I will take a nap
before I fire ze missiles.

fortunately G-d invented coffee
and meta-amphetamines.

I just remembered that you don't
have school again until Tuesday.
Thats wonderful Faith.

tarde

because I was curious
I decided to check how long this blog was...
I mean, how long could it be?
you've been gone less than 2 weeks.
theres no way that it could be 9000words long...
that would be ridiculous.
or...that it would take 52 pages to print out in its present
form...
that would be silly
a little bit of math tells me that at the end of your trip
this blog would be approx. 90,000words and 520 pages long.
12 trees will die just to provide the electricity needed to transmit
this text.


I can only hope there is a competition going on there
to see whose man/lady/manlady friend has written them most.

Song of the Night.

I just wrote out a whole little paragraph...
than I decided that it had to die...
paragraph euthanasia.

can I tell you something that I love about you?
not only have you made it so that can't listen to
myriad songs without thinking of you...
you've made it so that I can start to listen to
all those songs Ive been avoiding

Im listening to one of them right...
and you know what? It's all good.
Thanks Faith.

but Im not going to choose one of those songs tonight.

Glen Philips w/John Mayer - Walk on the Ocean

I guess my favourite Book/Movie genre
is Magic Realism.
I cant help but hope that world is still a magical place.
(though perhaps miraculous is a better word)
I would classify this song the same way

a murder of silhouettes

I have some important news.
news that could potentially alter
the course of our relationship

I like Tom Waits...
there I said it.
another potential disaster diverted.

So, I was an idiot tonight.
Well, maybe I wasnt--
but I felt like it.

Thats why Ive decided we shouldnt
talk on the phone anymore...
or...better you can call me
and Ill type to you.

Im kidding, of course.

I meant what I said tonight,
I really am proud of the way that things have
gone so far...

I just have more reason to try this time.

really, I had some things
that I wanted to talk to you about
and then...you made me forget.
I can see how they could have been very
important.
But if I remember Ill pass it along.

I think it was just more ranting
about the passing of time and old friends...
blah blah blah-

87 days you say?
alright. deep breath.

So, I think that Ive decided to go back
to Calgary...maybe...
alright.
maybe I haven't decided.
but I've decided to pretend that I've decided.

What I HAVE decided is that I should
built a high speed train between wherever
I am living and wherever you are.

even if its the same city.

I can't wait faith...

I was talking to my G-ma this morning
(Ill post a picture of her tomorrow)
I made her my special scrambled eggs...

Last year, for several reasons
I decided that it was essential that
...
wait
I think Ive talked about this before.
maybe not.
I just spent so long trying to convince
myself that I would be alright alone.
My fathers rationalization for most of his
questionable actions was
"that he couldnt be alone"
oki, like Ive said, there are alot of things
that are beneficial about the distance...
If only because I would never want to
dissuade you from doing something you wanted to...
This reflex has been working out alot lately,
and has become strong enough that it can even over-ride how
much I miss you
(it seems to me that my missing is inherently selfish
I miss you because of how you make ME feel
and because I like to look at your butt)
it makes me say things like
"faith, you know, you should really go back to germany next summer"

of course I don't actually mean this
and after I get off the phone I have to knee myself in the groin
for saying it.
Listen I know I'm not allowed to say the L-word
alright...just once: lesbian. (Stay away from Shawna!)
seriously.
no, seriously.
Im not even sure what love is Faith, and Im not sure
many other people do either.
(maybe people fall out of love because they
never knew what love was?)
Maybe we could try and find out together.

I say "maybe" alot.
also "clearly", "explain", and "I miss faith"

alright...I just thought of this whole other thing I wanted to write.
but...I have to work in 6.5 hours.
clearly thats not enough time...sleep blah tired.

thanks for calling me today.
I will have those CD's off by Monday.
seriously.
no, seriously.

also I love balsamic vinegar
top 5 foods or food products...easy.

I had an idea for a story tonight that Im going
to try and "suss" out. (I dont even know what that means)
Ill try and pass it on...some of it...maybe...sometime soon...
alright sleep. its just you and me.

Ill go over John CH.1 tomorrow.
it should all be there tomorrow morning.
if its not...Ive been abducted by models.

light shining through

Im hoping that I get to talk to you
in some...time...

you may decide to sleep in,
which I think would be wise...
you never get enough sleep

I have some things to say about today
but I think that Ill wait until later to write them
I dont want you to have to read something that
you've just heard me say.

I am putting together some music for you...
it should be winging its way in not too long.

more later

and the winner is

so, Im at work...
the days been good.
more later

song of the morning

Neil Finn - Tokyo

oki Im headed off to work
but before I go
I NEEDED to listen to this song.

bouncy, awesome, it didnt make
it onto this last album...but I love it, love it!

The majority of the songs that remind me
of you were written by him.

I get ready now.

There is a very tiny chance Im headed out tonight
but please call regardapplessly (again, not a word...should be)

Im not allowed to post from work
so todays section could be abit lite.

house

I am, apparently
against sleep.

though its only 1.35
I'd say we should go for breakfast
but by the time I got there it would be
time for dinner.

Im watching this show (instead of writing)
called House. It's about an angry Doctor.

Apparently, my sisters tell me...
he is cool for exactly the same reasons
that I am not cool.
From what I can gather the differences
are that he is old, and not their brother...
Im working on the not brother thing...
no ideas yet.
But I think I have the getting older thing covered.

glasses. I sell them now.
want some?
really.

I wish I could talk to you right now.
But I know your in class.

I have this incredibly lame habit
of listening through the messages you've left
on my phone again and occasionally.
unfortunately, they erase themselves
after 5 days.



alright.

I go.
my body took a vote and narrowly
decided to sleep.

also

your ass is great.
really.

song of the minute

Jack Johnson - No Other Way

this whole album reminds me of you.
I was listening to it alot before you came
while you were there and after you left.

This song especially though.
I couldn't really tell you why.

As we were driving back from the
airport I put this on.
The first song is called
"Better Together"
your sister suggested I turn it off
so I wouldnt cry.
I did no such thing

as read by children

alright, finally Im going to write about
what I wanted to write about this morning.

you.

thanks for sending me your mothers e-mail faith--
I was (still am...but less) incredibly worried about
what your family would think of me.
I'm glad that gullibility is hereditary.

crazy about me hey?
you are foolish faith,
but Im so thankful for it...

ah, just come home soon...
(slightly less than 3 months is relatively soon...I guess)

Ill admit that alot of my recent
"what should I do with my life"
quandring (not a word...but it should be)
is because of you.
You instill me faith, with the desire to be
better than I am...
or at least, to be as good as Im able.

I appreciate that you would be happy with me
being a garbage collector (did you mean lawyer?)
but I wouldn't be happy...
I can't, and won't be able to shake the feeling
that you deserve more (maybe its a man thing)

your inspiring. deal with it.

I just received an e-mail from Nadine.
Im not sure if you remember her,
she was my first real girlfriend.
I havent talked to her in a long time,
she lives in Regina though, with her
husband and baby boy Kai.

I can't believe she has a baby.
(he kindof looks like me...just kidding)
I still can't believe shes married...
its a marker for how much time has passed
in my own life...how much has changed...
to me she's still that little girl.

We're not kids anymore hey faith?
(well...we're not supposed to be...Im always abit behind)
I'm so glad to dating you, it makes me entirely less
frightened of getting older.

Have the great day Faith.

I start work tomorrow
(though not until 1 thank G-d)
it should be...interesting...
Ill let you know.

behold, the one thing men could offer me to leave you 

balance

ipod broken
new lost

that makes me about even :)

maybe its not broken...
its just not working right now
I made some kind of an error

lloviendo

hey.

well, confirmation has come...
the deal fell through.

Im not sure how to feel about
this exactly. Its just one more thing
to be unsure about.

My mother is stressed now, with justification...
Im not sure what to do about it.

Its just been one of those days...
wait---no it hasn't
for the most part the day was great.
I shouldn't let this slight downpour ruin
an otherwise sunny day.

Again, there has been alot of furniture moving
my mom is trying to get the house into a
condition she calls "staging", which means
sellable...apparently.

her theory (which I agree with) is that empty
(mosty empty) houses are more attractive...
I think that I can agree with this.

more posting later.
for now...this is Jaethan Reichel signing off
good night Germany

foiled again

Id like to start this post off by
telling you what I smell like...

I smell like feta cheese.
I don't really like feta cheese.

it looks as though the sale of the farm
might have fallen through...
I know that I didnt want to let it go,
but i had prepared myself.

I feel bad for my mother...
the pressure to sell this house
before we move into the next one
is now high.

I guess its good that Im here.

We dont know anything for sure--
perhaps we'll find out tonight.

I'll write again soon.
I hope your sleeping right now.

case in point

remember last night when I was writing
about misinterpreting songs...

well I relistened to "A lifetime" by
Better than Ezra today.
When I first heard it
I was like... "ya, this song makes me miss faith"

it turns out with a closer listening
that its about stealing a dead body.

of course...it still reminds me of you.
Body donation nay!

you sent me 2 of the best e-mails today
and I have somethings to say about them...
right now though I need sun, and Dirk Pitt.

song of the moment

Howie Day - Collide

nice production,
its amazing how I can make almost every
song I hear be about you and I.

this song really has no relevance
except that its about a boy and a girl

its great though...nice chorus

bed soon...sleep later

I spoke to Craig W. tonight.
He told me he broke up with his girlfriend...
then he wanted to talk about it.

I used to love giving people advice on...anything
Now...Im hesitant.
Shes leaving to Europe for 2 months (sound familiar)
and had apparently not been investing much in the relationship...

I think he's just scared...or getting hurt.

I told him the same thing I've been telling myself.

Let me tell you one of the reasons its odd being home...
my sister informs me the other night that she might not
believe in G-d, and there is nothing obvious I can do about it.

Im not always comfortable with it, but I am fairly used to some of the
people around me caring about what I have to say about such things--
even if they might not agree

Im their brother though, which means even if they don't believe Im
an idiot...they have to pretend they do.

its my fault I guess...
it is entirely possible to argue too well...
how can you argue against apathy?
how can you make points when the other person claims not to care?
we'll see how I do at being subtle and understanding...

it makes me not want to take philosophy anymore...
I find its not very useful in talking to people.
(your dad certainly thinks its unuseful;)

anyway, I was planning on writing tonight...
but instead I just thought about all of this and watched
the simpsons.

sleep needs me.

early morning

hey babe,

its 6.40am there, are you up?
wait...you can't check this until you get to school.
well, welcome to school!

have a wonderful day,
and whatever may happen
you have a boy in canada that misses you.

his name is Ethan...he's kindof creepy

take care faith.
slightly less than 3 months to go

change is coming

i was thinking today
dangerous
which is why I don't do it very often.

I've been trying to come up with reasons
that its good we are spending the summer apart.
I've decided that whatever is to become of us...
the summer will accelerate it.
I can't see myself being very unsure of things
this september

I've also decided that you and I should enter
"The Amazing Race"...
With my good looks, and your ability to speak german
I think we'd do well.

Tell me Faith,
what do you want me to do with my life?
Thats an unfair question maybe...
but Im sure you have preferences.
I can't remember the last time I was so
unsure about what was happening.

The problem is that I have too many options!
I don't even know where Im going to be living...
though I suspect, for a variety of reasons that it will calgary.

I cooked for the fam tonight,
seriously
no. seriously
I am such
a great cook...

how would you feel about picking a book of the OT or NT to through with me?
its something that we could do together far apart.

will be shaken by a whisper

faith,

just thinking about you.
we are moving...which has meant
lots of...moving things.

it's like an archeological dig,
into the not so distant past.

I hope you had a wonderful
time at the welcoming thingy.

Ill write more later.
It was so nice to talk to you this morning.
(actually I think it would be good if you always called me
at 5am...that way, we can say that I say the crazy things
I do because Im tired and crazy.)

rachet... 

song of the moment

better than ezra - a lifetime

yip. catchy.

me...looking like a drunk pirate 

katchet at the farm 

heres the boy on that fateful night 

we ate at the swen almost everyday. so good. 

your brother, singing the song I liked so much. 

the currency of life

dirk pitt goes to germany
in the book Im reading now...
I guess that means it can't be all bad
he is the perfect man

even though Im hoping that I get to talk to you
in 4 hours, I decided I would still write.

you know, just to keep in the habit.

So, I went to Melfort, and I met your parents.
Like I said, the time to tell me you weren't
interested in me was clearly Friday.

Ill get started.
We left late in the afternoon on Friday,
Rachel was late--so it goes.
Neil had been expecting us the night before,
so when we finally made it to the farm...
He was no-where to be seen.
We checked the obvious places
and found him at Chelleys (I'd actually never been there before)
My whole family went in
(kat and rachet are cute so no one asked questions)
He had been drinking...a little, which just made him honest.
Neil can be so eloquent, and was, he gave a small speech
that made us all feel better about our leaving the farm.
My family left, and I ran into Danielle Anderson.
I thought she was ignoring me, but apparently
I just look different.
We ended up sitting at a table alone outside,
talking about what both of us had been up to.

There seems an impression among the general
populace that we have either been together for
a long time...or at least
(as Justine Penner informed your parents)
that we have dated before.

so Faith, what have you been telling people?
;)

It was after I disentangled myself from Danielle
that I ran into your brother.
I was planning on leaving, but he asked me to play pool
and even though I didnt want him to know how bad I was
I didnt think that I should say know.
In the end, we won every game we played
(no thanks to me, we is very good)

Have you heard him play recently?
I think he is exceptionally good.
He said that he would send me some
of the songs he's written. I hope he does.
(There is one in particular that I thought was stellar)

anyway, it was just nice to spend time with him.
I like him, and would even if he wasn't your brother.
He ended the night talking about your church,
and religion in general. Good.

Church.

Let me say that I wanted to go for several reasons.
I wanted to meet your family.
I wanted to give the church thats been so important
to you another chance.

I want to be clear. I said nothing even remotely intelligent
to your mother or father. I was so glad that Charity was there.
She tries so hard to make me more comfortable...
with some success.


Later, when they came to the Farm,
and we were going through the tour--
I spoke more. Though Im not sure any of it
made sense.

It was uncomfortable but good.
Your mother is so kind,
and I love your fathers sense of humor.
(though its sometimes hard to tell when he's joking)

The line of the day though comes from your mother--
when she walked up to men in church she opened with;

"So, your the boy my daughter is so captivated with"

captivated.
nice.

There is so much more that I could say.
But I'm sure that we'll talk all about it.

Ill post some of the pictures from my phone,
the ones from the film cameras will come later.

I hope you had a wonderful day at school Faith.
I'm going to go to bed, so I can be fairly conscious when you call.