slow cooking

Oh Faith.

I cant think of a single thing to write.
Words are failing me.
I have warned them that they best
shape up and start expressing how it
is that I feel about you...
or Ill have to fire them...
and hire on
constant sighing and
interpretive dance.
(I hear they work for less)

I can only assume it was my talk
of chili that made you teary...
Thinking about onions can make me tear up too.
There will be no more talk of them...

I hope you do call tonight.
Though Ill try not to expect it.
I might go out to my friends bar for abit...
but I will be back at a very reasonable time.
(not a smidge past 11.17)
you know what you should try?
just once...if your feeling abit crazy?
Getting 8 hours of sleep ;)

I have to start cooking tonight...
I want at least 16 hours of simmering.
and I love you.

I just have to get through the day
and I get to talk to you.

Bring it on Friday the 3rd!
Your ends justify the means.

Song of the night is clearly
The JBC song by Nizlopi
Just heard it tonight...
I think its tremendous

I missed you!

I mean, I missed you specifically!
on msn...
by mere minutes.
If only Id run faster!

I danced today...just for you.

I thought about you more
than usual tonight.
Don't misunderstand me
your almost always on my mind...
the background
to my not so interesting daily doings.
But today I couldnt seem to forget
that your wonderful, and gone.

I hope I get to talk to you soon...
Ill no doubt write later--

fabric of the cosmos

Oh lazy morning
short afternoon
Oh Wanton Night
...
it must be June.


My GrandMother loves Dr. Phil.
I--do not.
But he said one thing that struck me
as wise today.
Too bad I can't remember what It was.

Have you and I had an argument
since we started dating?
I can't remember.
Is that because we haven't had one?
I hope so.

Im interesting in how
our first one
will go.
Id like to say if that we'll
never have one.
But thats probably not true.
How well will we deal with It wonder?
I think well.
Better than the people on Dr. Phil Im sure.

The future is abyss.
Germany is the birthplace of
modern nihilism...
Excepting Albert Camus...
I think all of my top 5 most
depressing philosophers resided
in...or near...the fatherland.
Its almost like there's something about
speaking german that makes people
think life is awful ;)

I wish I could have
talked to you today...
Im not even sure what Id say.
Maybe something about the chili
Im making, or the story
I cant seem to finish.

I miss kissing you.

groundhog's day

I love this movie.
Its very possibly on my Top 15
Not so much for what it is,
but for what it says.

Are you walking among the
stars right now?
I hope its as beautiful as it is
in my imaginarium.
(not a word...but it should be)

Its sunny here...
and after I write this
I fully intend to jet outside
and bask with a book poolside.
(your not here...but you should be)

Im so tempted to call you tonight.
Oh! but hopefully you are sleeping,
or out having best times.

pilgrimage

you know what I love?
Cheerios after midnight...
and you.

apparently I cant type AND
eat cereal at the same time.

son...put the cheerios down.

oki, oki

Im starting this abit later than I
wanted to...
which means I won't get to say everything
i wanted to...but I do have the day off
tomorrow--so Ill probably write you at
least once ;)

Faith, Im so glad that you called me tonight,
and even happier that you told me what
had been bothering you.

You are silly, and I love you for it.
If you only knew how much time I spent
thinking about you, how sure I was that
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
You would worry less.


Sometime soon
Ill keep track of how many times
I think of you on a random day.
Should be interesting.
The science of Love.

I will explain some of the things I mentioned tonight
and then I should bed.
Im going to try and be productive tomorrow.

Wait...maybe Im not going to.
But I will. Soon.

I miss you.

Can you take some pictures of the Planetarium?
It sounds incredibly interesting.

Song of the Night is a whole album
The new Coldplay X&Y
Very Good

Oh.
webmessenger.msn.com
it will ask you to log in
and open a window that
will allow you to chat it up.
Ill be around the computer
(you know...pretending to write)

step by step

mornings...bad
how is it that you can
get up so early.

do you like mornings more
than me?
or is it just your superior will-power?

oh, I miss you.

work now.

hey now, I can't keep saying endlessly

I have to say,
Im almost through the Da Vinci Code--
I dont think its very good.
It did give me the opportunity though
to re-examine why I believe what I believe.

Spoke to an amigo tonight who mentioned that
he had several friends that had rejected christianity
but seemed to have forgotten the reasons why.
Over time, disbelief simply became their default position.
I wish that I could say the opposite, that believe in Christ came
naturally to me...but sometimes it doesnt.

and now, suddenly, I have so much more to lose.
(Im talking about you babe)
I know this seems a little disconnected,
but this is just a segment of a larger rant
that Ill be mulling over in the next few months.

Im going to take some time off this next month to
"ride the rails" out west. I was going to try and make
it to Calgary--but apparently it can take up to 3 days.
I have some aquintances that work for CP and they
have informed me that it would be a foolish thing to try.
Fortunately for me, I dont care, I am foolish.
I think that Ill do a shorter "trial" run. A trip to saskatoon
that should take less than a day.
There are some details to work out...
Ill keep you posted.

I thought abit tonight about what our house might be like.

You know, 18 years from now...

If we lived in the city I think we should have a loft apartment

with a freight elevator that you can ride your motorcycle up

into the kitchen on.

No brown couches. Please.

No...seriously.

At first I would just daydream about the airport...

then the few days afterwards--our trip together

now I imagine us old skydiving in bolivia on your

75th Birthday. No Brown Couches. Really.

Im going to write abit...

and then go to bed.

Have the best of days Faith.

song of the night is clearly
Daring Daylight Escape by the Infinitely Good
Caedmon's Call.
(your lucky I like you enough to overlook the travesty
that is your musical taste;)

knocked off the evening

oh dear.

It was a rainy do-nothing day.
Even after it stopped raining...

I called to see about going to school
in Calgary...they'll only let me take 2 classes.
I can take some correspondence as well...
but I have to say--maybe I should just go
to edmonton. maybe? maybe not?

Oh I don;t know.
But I guess that I should decide soon.
Where is your boy going to go?
Whats he going to do?

as long as I have cheese (uh...and you)
it won't be so bad.

I found out today that my laptop isnt going
to be fixed until june 12. That makes me sad.
Ill start re-doing that CD right away...
even if its not as good.
At least I can send you something.

Thanks again for calling me on my long drive.
I feel so much closer to you,
now that you've heard me order from Wendy's
(that's right- side salad)

more later.

tangled up in you

my sisters and I had a deal.
in exchange for the use of their car
I would bring them back
Cheese, Coke, and Krispy Kreme.

The cheese and coke I had,
but it was late and surely
my family would
"you'll have to back and get them"
my mother said
"you promised us" my sister said
"if you leave now, you can be back tomorrow"

damnit.

I have to work today...which Im not looking forward to.
But, lately, Ive been writing you a measily once a day...

I hope that german square dancing is cooler than it sounds.
miss you babe!

come home

Faith...
I made it...barely.

I found myself excited as
I neared home...because I was exhausted,
and because I wanted to write you
and tell you that I loved you.
You are so astonishingly easy to like.

Thanks for getting up early to call me...
Though I dont like it that you sleep so little
it means alot to me.
I owe you.

You should call me at 3am sometime.
So I can wake up to the sound of your voice.
Please.


The northern lights were out tonight
I havent seen them in too long.

I need to sleep...really...
but know that I thought about you the whole way home.
I hope we get to drive to someplace far away soon.

...

your amazing.

lying on the couch in your teeny-tiny living room

Faith!

Im exhausted.
But I couldnt possibly go
to bed without writing you.

It was...another extraordinary(ly long) day.
I associate with such a group of such supremely cool
people.

The Lilac festival is like saskatoons Fringe...
but much, much bigger.
I intend to take you next year.
(unless Im in Panama)

Ill write more about all of this later...
I do want to talk a little about church though...
The pastor that I dont like is leaving
which is awesome.
Joe spoke tonight, and this quote came up.

"Social action does not need to be pre-evangelistic
and be done with an evangelistic purpose in order to
be legimate. Feeding the starving, ending slavery, and
promoting political freedom and economic justice have
their own biblical justifications...whether or not those
effected accept Christ"

exactly.

I spent alot of time talking to alot of people today...
It was Bj that made me pause the most--
I have so much to learn from him.

Again, at the end of the most interesting weekend Ive
had in some time...I fine myself more sure of several things:

that I want to move back to calgary
that I want to be with you.

Ill say a prayer for your presentation before I drift off...

Oh, and Faith, thanks for send me the pictures of "your new baby".
Hopefully you'll get to see him when you get back.

me...so...tired
Id love it if we talked soon.
What would be the best time to call you?
I will be busy, but Id like to talk to you...
even if it was just for 5 minutes.

I think Ive made it so you can comment now.
Maybe...Im not sure.

song of the night is clearly...
never going back again -- fleetwood mac.

once more into the breach

well...
Im home now...

It was the best of nights.
I couldnt possibly do it justice at 3am.

But I wanted to thank you for
calling me.

more later.
sleep now.

Bj says Hello.
Damn he's a sexy man.