back home

well...back in regina
close enough.

its strange being here,
you've talked about that feeling
of welcome and alienation all in one.

Man my family is cool though.
They all read the BBC (except Rachet)
My sisters are grown ups...mostly
they swear like sailors though

Last night when Kat finished work we
headed up for Wendys, just because...nice
I have my worries about being here,
some friends that Id rather not get ahold of--

I know that I joked about going back and editing
all these posts. But I promise you I haven't.

Can you send me the address? or this Place your Staying?
I promise not to write sassy things in English on the box...
because I know that they won't be able to read it...
(wait...I don't promise that)

It was wonderful to talk to you this morning,
Im sorry that I was abit groggy.
Argh, again I'm sorry that you had to spend
days thinking that I hadn't written you.

I was serious about not knowing what I wanted to do this fall.
This means of course that I am open to influence :)
I will go to school, in some capacity...
but I'm not feeling good about trapping myself in Edmonton.
(though I suppose 2 years isnt so long)
We shall see.

hmm...lemony fresh victory for Zim!

Well, all up to the farm.
Im pretty sure Im going to cry when Im there.
I can only hope that its not as beautiful as I remember.

maybe I'll stop in on your parents?

save the future

well,

I just received an e-mail from you.
You are well. Things are Great.
Thank G-d.

At the end there was a line that caught
my attention...

"I thought you were going to write me everyday you jerk"

then...

"just kidding"

now...what I don't know is whether or not you were saying
this sarcastically...knowing full well that I have written you
what some would consider a creepy amount (I think 5 times one day).
or have actually not seen any of this...
(which means I still have time to erase the embarrassing stuff...)
It would have been so odd to have you come home after 3 months
and say "I thought you were going to write me"....
and then have me say "I did write you...I wrote you creepy amounts"

then I would show you this, and you would laugh
and kiss me...
yup, its going to be great.
except...I dont want you to think that I could go 3 months
without writing you...
I havent been able to go 12 hours.
(and I've been trying...really)

so...its Kassel with a "k"
glad thats settled.

Babe, I miss you too...
I spent the majority of the day missing you.
This isnt so creepy, Im just getting all my missing you
over with for the month.
It makes sense don't you think?
I think we should both agree to miss eachother
on the sameday. First Thursday of every month?

ok, a haiku and then I should sleep.

could you imagine;
that I wouldnt write you babe,
when I miss you so?

I'll take lots of pictures at the farm
alright. really. bed. should. go.

good night. good morning.
its all relative I guess.
whatever it is...I pray that it will be wonderful.

as the crow flies

happy 1 month anniversary babe

my sisters new painting...damn she's good 

saskatchewan...backwards 

almost heaven

Ill admit it,
I called your house tonight to see if you had made it to Cassel (Kassel?) alright.
yes. I know thats lame.
Im sorry.

I know that you are busy,
and Im just being silly.

Last night I had a wonderful talk with Shtefan
about life, about love, about G-d.
At his best, he is a wondrous sort.
I'm so glad that my living there ended with such
a pleasant note.
I will miss him.

I finally received a real e-mail from Shawna today,
I've been worried about her...living in her call and all...
and the only communication I've had from her since she
left was:

your moving.
good for you.

which I thought was abit odd.
I know that she had planned on us seeing eachother abit more,
and apparently she wants to begin to talk theology again...
thank G-d.

The drive with Jeremy was amusing,
it was nice to have him pinned down in one place---
unable to escape my questions.

I can say that I know him much better now.
That alone was worth the trip.

When we got in to Medicine Hat I called Loren Hosfield
to see if he was in...he was...

It was wonderful to see him, wonderful.
He's just returned from New Zealand,
and was already talking about his next trip
to Ethopia and Libya. Im jealous.
If I could afford to travel with him I would.
Here is a man that has led (from what I can gather)
and extraordinary life. Novel worthy, full of beautiful
women driving porsches in the alps, cold war intrigue,
and the sun setting on ten thousand horizons.
But he can't hide that he's become lonely, he spends to
much time with people that need his care and attention
without being willing to give it back.

I need to make it back to see him.


He continues to be the reason that I believe it would
be alright for me not to get married.
There is a trade-off.
Though, depending on the women I marry...
It might be less so.

It was nice to sit down in the coffee shop with my mother
and jeremy. Im so proud of her. I remember a time when
I would have died to have my mother sit down with one of
my friends. Now, I love it....if only because she makes me look good.

Well, I hope that your classes are going well.
That Cassel (Kassel) is beautiful.
That youv've met some wonderful people.


Have a wonderful morning Faith.

2 strangers on a country road...though one of them is stranger 

some stranger on a country road 

here is the man I will be spending the day with tomorrow...trapped in a car with him for 9 long hours...it will be awesome.  

and thats when anything walked through the door

oki, this is going to be my last post tonight.
really--I mean, even if I get up at 5 in the morning.

alright, maybe I will. If Im up. Which I probably won't be.

I had 3 very different conversations tonight.
I decided that I wasnt going to go out...
mostly because I couldnt think of anything that I wanted to do.
and I needed to pack...and watch the Wonder Years.

But I did end up talking to Jesse, Ian, and Shtefan.

Jesse

Jesse is still...Jesse. I'm not sure what to say about him.
You know...the things he does...the things he says...very odd.
This was the first conversation that I've had with him since we started
dating. Which gave me an excuse to tell the whole story one more time.
Jesse has been around for along time, so he remembers alot about our
relationship---somethings that I'd forgotten. He tells me that he always
suspected we'd end up together...or dating at least. He's still playing and
writing music, if he ever sends me some of it Ill pass it on--if its not too offensive.

Ian

I miss Ian. He was trying to convince me to move back to Banff this summer to try and recapture and improve on the 4months a group of rag-tag gentlemen were known as
"The Rocky Mountain 5". I passed on that, so he tried to convince me that I should move to Caronport, to go to Briercrest with him. In this year, he says, he would determine and distill all that was true. Tempting. You will like Ian, and adore Nathania...you should like him, let me tell you why... No one, No one, has been more supportable of you and I dating. Ian is constantly trying to convince me to risk more, to share more, to be closer for/with/to you.

Then we talked about Shtefan, and how crazy he was.
I couldn't help but mention what had happened when you were here...
The general insanity.

Anyway, this led to the final conversation...

Shtefan

I decided that I was going to try to talk to Shetfan about what happened.
It didnt go well. I was just interested in hearing what his rational was...
or maybe I wanted to save him from what I feel is unfair treatment.

His responses were terse, but after some mumbling
he decided to go with the old "how would you feel" routine

as in...

How would I leave if strange boys stayed at your house.
One who was dating your room-mate, if they were staying on a different
floor. I think he honestly expected me to say "oh, I would have a problem"
(which, incidently, I wouldnt)

probably not a great conversation to have on my last night.
I've never claimed to be a wise man.
Really, I just dont understand him...it seems so foolish.
Though perhaps I understand better now that I would have.

Oh Faith.

I hope your morning has been wonderful.
I wish that I could be there to share some of it with you...
but, Id probably ruin it...with my slow walking and stranger talking.

Your starting class today?
Studying German...In Germany...
I know I make fun of you, but really
I just think your hip.

Jeremy is showing up tomorrow,
and then the long drive...
and then the farm and then the summer...
and the your home.

(my punctation is awful...I know)

gene kelly is my hero

The sun has just begun to set,
its raining...and warm

it's a good thing your not here.

jello...wait for it.

In 1814 we took a little trip,
along with Colonel Jackson
down the mighty...something something

random

I haven't decided what Im doing tonight...
maybe nothing, maybe something
It seems like I've gone out too much this week...
stupid responsibility, when did I turn into an old man?

I have absolutely no reason to be writing you,
not even a thought that I said "Hey Faith would think thats interesting"

What I can't believe is that its been less than a week since you've left...
That its been 3 days.
Is it going to get easier? (it may be for you now, you are tougher than I am)



I do know that I don't want to get used to not seeing you.

play it cool.
play it cool.
play it cool.

if I say it enough.

I go out everynight and sleep all day.

Hopefully for are sleeping now,
someplace in Cassel (Kassel?)

I still miss you incidently,
I'll try not to say it so often...
you can just safely assume

here is one of the few things I love thats german. If there is anything I would like you to bring back...it would be a '72 or '73 non-targa porsche 911. Please. Please. Please.

a little like stevens.

Im not sure if you've started that book yet...
man, does stevens write alot.

well, Im up.

its 11.59
so, thats not a bad amount of sleep.

It seems that Im not leaving today,
I had a very early morning phonecall from Jeremy.
We both had some things that we wanted to do today.
Still watching the Wonder Years (at least while I'm typing to you)

What would you do, if I sang out of tune.
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your eye...and Ill sing you a song...

I'm sure you know the rest.

Strange dreams ago last night...
I as some kind of an agent that was battling
other agents that could divine the future based
on subtle changes in the temper of the world around them.
They could also read intention...
It made them complicated to run from.

Hmm...I say "sleep of the just" all the time
apparently I stole it from Kevin Arnold.

Lots of Beatles songs running around this last week.
Do they listen to the Beatles in Germany?
or just David Hasselhof.

http://www.achim-reichel.de/

heres a relative of mine that Im not particularily proud of...
you can see why my family had to flee the county.

Argh. just to think of all the people that I might be related to...
Its one of the 7 reasons that that I could never go there....
these of course are over-ruled by the one reasons I would...
beer, and chocolate.

I hope your trip went well today,
that you arrived safe, and sound.

I think I posted exactly 7 times yesterday...
this is clearly to many. clearly.

5 too many

alright.

I was in bed...now...I am not in bed.
I just had to get up, I'm not sure why
(or at least, I wont say)

its a little more than 5 hours until I should be up
packing everything that Ill need.
I already know that Ill forget things,
but there are some things that I really dont want to forget.
Important things, like small boxes, and lock picks, ipod cords,
and my favourite gap underwear
(they have ladybugs on them...I tell you this, because you'll probably never see them)

Anyway, I guess that I should go to bed...
at least lie down. Maybe sleep would sneak up on me.
I've decided that Im not going to give anyone else this address...
not that I would write anything really personal here
(once, when we were making out...she started to choke me)
but, I want to be writing to you at 5 in the morning
not a bunch of my friends.

cheese. it is good.
also. it is tasty.

I suppose you are in transit now,
riding one of these high-speed trains you go on about.
trains...I like 'em.

I'm going to try this sleep thing one. more. time.

Good Night again Faith.
Not that I would mind,
but I hope not to write again until at least...10...11...11.30
maybe noon if Im lucky.

Saints be Praised

Now Babe, I will go to sleep.
After I watch "Lost"
I should be taking off about 10pm your time...
I doubt that you'll have time to call,
even if you do...you should spent your time settling in.
(of course you know I don't mean this)
But please, if you can, let me know that you made it there alright.

I'll write again tomorrow, when I get home...
I'm going to the farm this weekend,
I'll try and take some pictures that do some justice
to the place.
I know that it won't be ours anymore...
but I think that I will take you there sometime
I hope you don't mind trespassing.

Ok Babe, have the best of days.

and here...for no reason whatsoever...is a picture of my fridge. Well, my old fridge...I guess it's not mine anymore. Damn I miss my fridge. 

this is the picture I have on my desktop...you have to admit, she's pretty cute. 

here to leave

it looks like might be headed to Regina tomorrow...
by coincidence it turns out that jeremy was headed
to caronport to visit his parents.

it seems to soon, there are alot of people that
I would have liked to see "one last time"
lots of free drinks and free meals that
I probably could have wrangled...

so it goes.

Its strange, Sara (shtefans girlfriend)
seemed to be genuinely upset that I was leaving.
When did she decide she wanted to be my friend?
I would have never predicted it.

I have on the several things that Im going
to try and accomplish this summer...
I mean, I need to be doing something other
than cursing Germany.

So, Ill commit it to writing
(though I suppose I can always edit it out later)

1) Im going to run.

I like running, alot, and have done it enough at this point
that I no longer have to be embarrassed to do so.
I have some slight ambitions to enter a half marathon this fall.
Really, as long as Im considerably faster than you...
I think we should race when you get back,
with the loser having to buy the other one lunch.

2) I'm going to take some pictures.

I'm not going to bother mentioning how much money
I have invested in camera equipment...
but it is enough that I'm ashamed to have it.
So, not that Regina is the best place for photo ops...
but I'd like to run a few rolls from the Nikon this summer.
Here is a promise.
I will send you at least 3 photos.
That doesnt sound like alot, but I think you know how picky I am.

3) I'm going to write....a little

This is what jeremy is doing now. Working on his book,
submitting stories and getting rejection letters.
I would hate for you to end up with a person that
have been to scared to attempt something that was
important to them. I've just built it up into something
so monstrous. ARGH. My actual goal is to submit something...
anything...even if it just means a rejection letter.
I won't bother talking about it much more than this...
I'd just end up whining. AHHHHHH!
a promise:
I will send you something, longer than 1000 words
while you are in the land of beer and...more beer.


anyway there are other things...tap dance, killing people,
making sharp metal things.

I've also decided that, as I will no longer be able to go to the Med
that I need to but I shisha. I hope your ok with that...because if your not...
its over. (just kidding)

http://http://www.hookah-shisha.com/item.jhtml?UCIDs=354899%7C1284731&PRID=1471914

I should give a small update on my fathers business thingy.
Things are still going...I think.
Peter, our ukranian partner in crime, has returned
and apparently Dad is talking to him tomorrow.
I haven't given up on things working out.
It looks like there is still a fair chance that It will.
I just decided that in the mean time it would be good
to have another source of income. I should be able
to do both for awhile, and if things with Odessa go well,
my mother knows that I'll have to leave.



I'm still not sure what I'm doing for school,
I might end up taking a semester off this fall...
if I end up going to school in Calgary...maybe not.
I don't really know, but I'll look into applying this week.
It would be a little easier if I knew what I wanted to be doing...
Tonight I was thinking philosophy professor.
Think you could end up with a philosophy professor?
(not me persay...but someone)

Im just ranting here...arent I
and watching the wonder years...still...
I just put the little window in the upper left corner
so I can type and watch at the same time.

So, whats the school like?
Where are you staying?
AH, I can't believe that I missed your phone call today.
Not that I expect to be that lucky, but if you were to call again
my number in Regina is 1-306-790-7078.

I've been telling everyone that you and I are coming to visit incidently...
I know that it might not happen...but I like to pretend it is.

Here (in case you were wondering) is the short list of people that would like us
to visit them.

Jeremy - Canmore
Shawna - Banff
Matt and Nadine - Kelowna
Craig W. - Vernon
Ian & Nathania - Kelowna
The Admiral - Kamloops
My Aunt and Uncle - Kamloops
Kyle - Penticton
My other Aunt - Vancouver
Jesse Brown - Victoria
Sheena - Victoria

umm...actually, Ive missed a few...
now that I think of it, maybe I should stop telling people
that Im going anywhere...it would take us 4 weeks just to make it to the coast.

like I said, I know that for variety of reasons it might not happen...
but I ask you to let me pretend, because it pleases me.

Im going to stop writing now.

so,

there are a bunch of people here...as always
and Im hiding in the basement.
Spent the afternoon at the Med. no suprises there...
but talking to Jeremy just made me miss you more...
you see, with you, I have what he is looking for

You are a rare creature faith.
Thanks for having such low standards.

overkill - colin hay

clearly Im going to send you this song.

it may not be good, but it is awesome...

send me that address hey?

madness is sure to follow

Faith!

I missed not one, but two of your phonecalls today!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Im sorry that I wasnt there to answer them...
I'm afraid I wasnt even doing anything interesting besides...

Yes, you are in Germany.

My day was been boring so far, but intentionally so.
It seems that we are headed out to the Med....again....
Jeremy is driving in...I hope that he's alright.

Also I received the first communication that I've had from
Meredith in several months today...
I hope we end up talking more often...that will make
setting her up with BJ that much easier.

Is Cassel spelt with a K?
Hmm...people can't seem to agree...
Perhaps you can tell me whats written on the "Willkommen" sign.

I'll write again later,
on everything that happened while you were sleeping.

so heres the thing

strange dreams last night...
strange...

open

Im getting really good with the lockpicks...
seriously, its frightening.

Your up now Im sure,
wandering down by the Rhein maybe.
I'm about to go to sleep.

I've just started telling people that Im leaving...
they have been suitably sad.

This summer is going to be different than I thought It would.
I can't make a predication about the betterness or worseness.

Its going to be strange...looking back on this summer...
Im just being dramatic...

In case you were wondering...I still miss you.

I'm not even sure if you've checked this yet...
Um...I hope your not scared by how much I've written you.

alright...bed...soon...now.

People have been asking me if Im coming back...
I cant really say.
I would like to end up in Calgary again...
but I think that I would live someplace else...
someplace closer to Janice Beatons Fine Cheeses.
Someplace that you can come visit me without angering
the tiny mexican.

what I was thinking about tonight...I had to crop this...it looked like I had breasts 

Foolishness

I've done some silly things in my time,
things that I've regretted...
I've made some foolish choices,
some of them recently...
I should really wait until I talk to you again...
but I just have to say it now.
I feel bad, it's only been a few days since you've been gone...but.

tonight, I took several of the finest pork chops you have ever seen...
butterflied them, and lined them with thin sliced pink lady apples that had
been smothered in butter.

this is madness...I know...but it gets worse.
I then marinated them in (Im embarrassed to say this)
maple syrup, and slow roasted each abomination carefully on the BBQ.

I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

You should still be sleeping now. Hopefully.

Seriously, the meal we made tonight was one of the best
I have ever had a part in. It shall be talked about for years.
Perhaps you didnt know this, but your boyfriend is not only
handsome and occasionally witty...but a fairly competent amateur chef.

Thats right...on top of everything else...he likes to cook.

Everything just sort of came together tonight, well enough infact that
I shall be added the above recipe to the not-quite-fabled "menu"

The story behind the menu was single, it was a collection of extraordinary
dishes that I could prepare whenever needed. When I met a girl of interest
I could (after several dates) hand her a copy of this menu, all done up with
binding and such...and ask her what her pleasure was.

Of course...I never actually did this...really...

Izyah came over for most of the day today, which was good...
It kept me from just laying around thinking about how far away you were.

He is a good fellow.

Have a wonderful day Faith.

sleepity

I hope that you are sleeping now.
I was sleeping myself, just for abit.

I think I should keep on the same schedule you do...

I finally went out and purchased some CD's...
so Ill start making your discs tonight.

I hope you sleep well.

you shall know our velocity

alot has changed in the last 5 minutes...

I am moving, this weekend...
to Regina.
Its your fault really...
you called, and I was struck with this incredible
desire to be responsible.
I can still work with Odessa there...
for the time being.
I really want be able to travel with you when you get back...
and...if I do end up in calgary again, I dont want to live here
anyway.

Jeff and Craig are moving too I think.
we shall see....it all moves so quickly.

I love it that you called me.
Thank-you 1000 times.

Im going to have a BBQ tonight Ive decided
invite some people over...

Also...I had a breakthrough with my lockpicking skills this morning...
I can now open some things...some times.

welcome sun

and you may find yourself....

I just got up,
thanks for letting me know that your alright.

I would certainly send you your jacket if you wanted it,
if not...I can use in the construction of Faith mark 2
(my backup in case something happens to the first one)

http://http://www.weatheroffice.ec.gc.ca/city/pages/ab-52_metric_e.html

there, I could describe the day as it is...the sunshine and the warm chinook wind...
but it just wouldnt be the same as weather report...
informative over dramatic.

In less than 15 minutes I plan to be on the lawn, sitting on the blanket you wrapped yourself in.
...big sigh...
I'm stealing jeffs guitar (will his permission)...thank G-d.

paul simon says.

fat charlie the archangel sloped into the room.
He said "I have not opinion about this, I have no opinon about that"

hmm

I should make up a game called "paul simon says".
When I work out the rules Ill let you know.

creepy phone picture of your boyfriend...what a jerk! 

Im a smarty Pants.

I figured it out....apparently.

boys at the med. 

wonder years.

Im watching it....
part way through the 2nd season now.

I like it...though its not as good as Magnum PI

Im trying to figure out how to post pictures on this thing!
If I can...that will be good.

hmm, Im posting on berlin time now...
I guess that when Im going to bed...you'll just be getting up...
thats not so odd...it was the same thing here....

I was very tempted to play "fat man in a little coat" with your jacket today...
when jared did I couldnt stop laughing...
but...I didnt.
I hope that its not getting cold there at night.
I don't think that you brought another jacket.

Oki, with a slight measure of irony
I have to tell you that I forget my jacket as well...
it should be in saskatoon by now.
(its just proof that we're compatible)

I was talking to Jeremy today, apparently Shawna
has been quite worried about what you'd think of her...
She'll be relieved to know that you thought she was "gorgeous".
I havent had the chance to talk to her about you, but she did
take the time to tell me that she liked you too.

you are a wonder faith,
and I dont think I could escape you if I tried.

...but I wont....really....
I dont want to.

actual post 1

I miss you.

oki.

Faith,

modern tech...
would it be alright if I wrote to you here?
Its not as formal as e-mails or letters, but it would just let
me post what I was thinking about...things I wanted to tell you...
in a way that doesnt fill up your mailbox.

it seems much less creepy to post on this throughout the day
than write you multiple e-mails.