my heartbeat shows

well love, I hope where-ever you are
you are safe and sitting right on the edge
of a most interesting day.

it was an strange day...well...not for me
but some would have called it so...
it seems I am going to be in a movie on Sunday...
that I have been drafted into a band...
and that I have to go to dinner at Nadines.

gah! I wish that I could talk to you right now...
and straight on till morning

but I know (and I hope you do to)
that you have me forever (if you'd like)
and germany for only a short time longer...

love you faith.

(there will be pictures tomorrow)

things Ive prayed for

Oh Faith

I hope you are marvelously well...
I hesitate to ask, but can you let me know
that your alright when your able?

I know that Im silly...
but I cant help but worry abit.

(if you have time you can also
write abit about how much you miss me,
and what a terribly good idea it is for
me to come to see you ;)

sigh.

the grad was exceptionally good...
I am so proud of my sisters...
of my brother.
But I have to say
that
Im not sure how anyone could
think that they could seat my father,
my brother, and I together without
expecting some kind of a amusing scene.

Oh, I really do love you...
enough that lately its been making me abit nervous...
I know that some of my friends think it happened so quickly...
so easily...and thats true...mostly...
but this summer has been hard, hasn't it?
can I drop the coolness for a second to tell you
about the times Ive spent lying awake at night...
trying to work through my insecurities,
weighing the risk my heart is in...

it seems there would have been way fewer
of these tiny battles had we been together...
but I know, as I win each one,
Im becoming closer to the person I'd like you to marry...

alright...
as you know, your boy can talk forever
but I suspect that your reading this on some
tiny train interweb terminal with just minutes to spare.

may your day be lovely

only the good

my sisters graduate today!
I can barely believe it...
I still clearly remember when
we had to cover all of the plants
so they wouldnt eat dirt.
(I guess it was only last summer)

the ceremony is tonight...
Kat is the MC
and Rachet is singing some songery...

Im so proud of my little family.
we good.

I made my special thursday morning CD
last night...which will hopefully tide me
through a day I was not supposed to be working...

your wonderful!

good god...get me out of here!

alright...
so somehow...
I ended up doing couples therapy tonight...
which, first of all, to be fair...
Im not qualified to do...
and secondly...I...really...really...really...really...
dont want to do...

please babe, please come rescue me!
AHHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAHHHH!

it just goes to show me though...
wow...are we better than everyone...or what?
seriously.
as soon as I start putting the cap back on the toothpaste...
I think we're pretty much perfect;)

alright...they might have noticed that Im not listening anymore...
I should go...you should smile...and run off to whatever adventure
awaits you today.

I love you Faith Gustafson.

trying desperately to be independant

I have to admit...
I was so hoping you would call tonight.
I know that it might be this long between
us speaking...but I hoped it would not be so.

I guess as long as you;ve wanted to call me!
You know, passed by a pay-phone and paused...



Really though, I hope your days have been chalked full
or Germany Goodness!!!

There are people over...again...
I guess Im going swimming...again...
and then going for innappropriate breakfast...again...
yip...another exciting night
yay.

just so you know

you have a little bit of competition here...
there was a girl in the store today that
seemed quite intent on marrying me...
I told her that it might not work out now
(she was 2...and a half)
but that we could re-evaluate when she was 25...

that gives you 22.5 years to make up your mind.

I have to jet back to work...
I miss you...
even when Im not thinking about it I can feel it.
it is a lovely day though
and Stevie Wonder makes me dance.

love you babe.

especially at night

David told me, a long time ago, that during
the American embassy crisis in Iran...
the hostages (who had been held for over 1.5years)
kept themselves sane by inventing an imaginary dairy
farm...everyday they would talk about the price of milk...
or how a certain cow was sick.

when I myself was in a tiny white room...
all I thought about was getting out...and ants (they were my friends)

I am doing it now though...abit
When I am feeling especially far away from you
I imagine all the things that our future holds...
(I have you 42nd birthday all planned out...half-joking)
I have to say, if you were ever to do the same thing...
I would have to call you crazy.

I hope your day is stellar, and your companians congenial...
and that through it all you remember that I love you.

song of the morning is clearly "Overkill" by Colin Hay
I think this is a repeat...but I dont care
It very clearly encapsulates my thoughts this morning.

take care babe

better songs, better day

even though I have to admit
that I cant wait until this summer is over...
till I can call you at night when Ive had a bad dream...
and have you tell me that Im alright...
till the amount of time between us seeing one another
is measured in days....instead of weeks...
Babe, I cant stop thinking abou how hip you are...
how proud I am of you...
how excited I am for everything your getting to see and do.

Ill admit, I have my moments of insecurity...

(about us, about this upcoming trip)

but in the end, its all overcome by

how much I adore you

I dont know where you are...

but I wish I was there.

faith, I love you.

feet on the ground

well, I suppose group e-mails are better than nothing...
;)

have a great day faith...
exploring magical castles and such
Im sorry you;ve been abit bothered

Ill make a reservation at the Generator Berlin just in case...
I stayed there in London
and really liked it.

Im going to go sit out by the pool abit before work...
its another beautiful day.
the city has been invaded by a swarm of butterflys...

patience boy, I need it

bbbq was strange...but good
I left early, as has been my practice...
picked up my sisters who informed me
that "we were on a mission...a mission for chicken"
it was about that point that the funny hats came out.
what an odd family I have.

Nadine called me tonight, wants to get together sometime this week...
it should be interesting after so many years to get together with her
child and husband. Its strange to think that we could end up being
friends.

Kenn brought me back one of those "I Heart NYC" shirts...

he had some wonderful stories...

can you promise me that we'll try to get there within 3 years?

I'd like to go at Christmas time...

I know you'll barely have time to read this...
and less time to write me back...
gah! But Im so excited to see you...
even though this whole trip scares me to death.
I miss you babe...have everyday since you've left...
I hope today is your best Germany day yet!

song of the night is so very clearly "Numbness for Sound"
damn Howie Day...

whats the frequency?

oh, kenn is home...
which means Im out for a
geez-kenn-went-to-to-new-york-without- getting-shot-
and/or-mugged-though-this-one-guy-on-the-subway-
did-look-at-him-kinda-funny-BBBQ
(the extra B is for "better")
it will be awesome, no doubt, but I have to say
that I would trade it all for a jae-I-only-have-3-minutes-
because-I-just-have-to-run-phonecall from you.

also

Know that Im not assuming that I can stay with you...
I'd love to, but I know that your parents might not love it...
or it might not be allowed...or...or...
I just dont want you to have to worry about such things.

oh, have an immaculate day babe...
try to miss me...just a little ;)

the war for

Gah! you just sent me an e-mail. I wish I could have talked to you...
I sent...in reply...a bunch of random nonsensical e-mails...

Ill repeat what I said in them...but in more detail...

you certainly dont have to come meet me at the airport...
my german is non-existant (for the time being) but I have
no problems believing I could make it to berlin in at least 3 pieces.
But don't get me wrong...Id like to see you the second that Im able...
love to have you there when I get off the plane...
if only to help me carry my bags (Im kidding)

my exact schedule is as follows

AirTransat Flight 406 - arriving in Munich at 1.40pm on the 15th.
AirTransat Flight 407 - departs Munich on the 22nd at 3.40pm


take care faith

of heroic hearts

days get nicer than this somewhere...
but not here.

one of the wonderful things about being
home is getting to spend time with my g-ma
shes still recovering from her hip surgery...
but we still get out, to wonder around...
its lovely

I have another confession to make

oh, I hate that I couldnt say anything
to you about sleeping under a bridge
without being a horrible hypocrite...

the difference being that Im bulletproof...
and your not.

I had a strange...semi creepy day...
It just made me wish you were here

Why is it that passport pictures never look good?
(except yours...of course)
I went twice, and now have to decide between crooked
glasses--and evil-looking.

Semi-randomly Im going to ask how you would
feel about us getting PADI certified...
(sometime within the year)
so we can go diving and stuff
(my mom has been harassing me to do it for years)
I think I told you that there is a talk of my family
reunioning in Belize next summer...
even if that falls through...they'd love to have us visit
(I went to visit your aunt...its only fair!)
with your permission, I may stop in on your family the July 1st
weekend...Im not sure how strange that would be...
but it seems like getting to know them...
could help me get to know you...

oh I miss you babe, I hope Munich is brilliant.
tomorrow it would have been 50 days
now...its only 26.
thats still too long...


I love you faith, with all my heart
I hope you never doubt it.