and thats when anything walked through the door

oki, this is going to be my last post tonight.
really--I mean, even if I get up at 5 in the morning.

alright, maybe I will. If Im up. Which I probably won't be.

I had 3 very different conversations tonight.
I decided that I wasnt going to go out...
mostly because I couldnt think of anything that I wanted to do.
and I needed to pack...and watch the Wonder Years.

But I did end up talking to Jesse, Ian, and Shtefan.

Jesse

Jesse is still...Jesse. I'm not sure what to say about him.
You know...the things he does...the things he says...very odd.
This was the first conversation that I've had with him since we started
dating. Which gave me an excuse to tell the whole story one more time.
Jesse has been around for along time, so he remembers alot about our
relationship---somethings that I'd forgotten. He tells me that he always
suspected we'd end up together...or dating at least. He's still playing and
writing music, if he ever sends me some of it Ill pass it on--if its not too offensive.

Ian

I miss Ian. He was trying to convince me to move back to Banff this summer to try and recapture and improve on the 4months a group of rag-tag gentlemen were known as
"The Rocky Mountain 5". I passed on that, so he tried to convince me that I should move to Caronport, to go to Briercrest with him. In this year, he says, he would determine and distill all that was true. Tempting. You will like Ian, and adore Nathania...you should like him, let me tell you why... No one, No one, has been more supportable of you and I dating. Ian is constantly trying to convince me to risk more, to share more, to be closer for/with/to you.

Then we talked about Shtefan, and how crazy he was.
I couldn't help but mention what had happened when you were here...
The general insanity.

Anyway, this led to the final conversation...

Shtefan

I decided that I was going to try to talk to Shetfan about what happened.
It didnt go well. I was just interested in hearing what his rational was...
or maybe I wanted to save him from what I feel is unfair treatment.

His responses were terse, but after some mumbling
he decided to go with the old "how would you feel" routine

as in...

How would I leave if strange boys stayed at your house.
One who was dating your room-mate, if they were staying on a different
floor. I think he honestly expected me to say "oh, I would have a problem"
(which, incidently, I wouldnt)

probably not a great conversation to have on my last night.
I've never claimed to be a wise man.
Really, I just dont understand him...it seems so foolish.
Though perhaps I understand better now that I would have.

Oh Faith.

I hope your morning has been wonderful.
I wish that I could be there to share some of it with you...
but, Id probably ruin it...with my slow walking and stranger talking.

Your starting class today?
Studying German...In Germany...
I know I make fun of you, but really
I just think your hip.

Jeremy is showing up tomorrow,
and then the long drive...
and then the farm and then the summer...
and the your home.

(my punctation is awful...I know)