my past at last

I have so much that I want to tell you...
Im already a day behind

wait...the one thing that I wanted to
do was go through John uno.
Ill do that...

John 1 is longer than I thought
but Ill go through abit of it.

"In the beginning was the word..."

I don't like this translation...
you know that Im not a biblical literalist...
(not today anyway)
I think that when people quote this verse
as proof of the divine and unchanging nature of scripture
they are mis-interpreting.

its seems an oversimplification to translate logos as "word"
I often forget that the bible wasnt created in void,
and the influence of classical greek thought on the early
christian writers seems widespread...
the concept of "logos" seems to have been pulled
directly from plato.
stupid language...
(I might be making that up)
it limits us, especially when it comes to G-d
"we aren't capable of speaking of the most important things"
and so are forced to use the broad brushes of comparison...


oki, I could for hours about this first line...
but Im not going to

Joh 1:4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
-love this line. what dense and profound writing.

Joh 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
-what does this mean? is John talking about Satan? do you believe in a literal lucifer?
this is something that Ive yet to take a stand on. I should really just take a month and
wade through as much material as I can find...then write what I think down in pencil.

Joh 1:11 He came to His own, and His own received Him not.
-the Jewish people? I still don't know what I think about the idea of
G-d having a "chosen" people. It seems unfair to my discernment...
though I suppose that doesn't mean very much.

Joh 1:18 No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.
-I dont want to assume...but this seems like a contridiction to me. The concordance is telling me that "seen" is closer to "discern clearly". This makes more sense to me, as the OT has several occasions where G-d is "seen". I don't understand this passage, Ill look into it more

Im not sure how vocal one has to be

about their beliefs Faith...

I have a tendency (to a fault) to think

in strategic terms,

and by that logic I would have to say...

whatever amount is pragmatic.

I don't know that words mean very much now.

Better to give a testament with our lifes...I think

Im not sure "what I life following G-d" means either...

how much are we to give up? everything?

sometimes it seems like that...

its a strange time to be a christian.

I have more to say about that...

but Ill stop for now.

I think that I've found a church to go to...

or at least, one Im going to try.

Im not sure how important going to church is--

hear me out--I do think its important that we be aware

and in "communion" with "the body"...but as for showing

up one place at one time...Im not so sure.

I dont know alot of Christians here though.

Fortunately customer number 3 on Jae's top three customers of the

day was. His wife spent 4 years doing missions in Nepal and India,

and he had some of the finest facial hair I have ever seen...

based on these things alone I hope I see more of them.

He was nice enough, after the time we'd spent talking,

to give me his number so I could go with him.

Thank G-d

Customer number 2 -- in case you were wondering

was the sassy genetics student that made ken and I

try on lab-coats and pose...then stole not one...but two oranges.

The number 1 spot goes to the little girl that wanted so badly

to have glasses. She was wearing them upside down, which,

she informed me...was cute.

then she told me mine were cute too.

(this my have been what pushed her to number 1)

a word about Ken.

I like him...and I think we will end up being friends.

I told him today that I would like to hang out with him "sometime"

which he took to mean that we should go out rocking tomorrow...

Ill let you know most of what happens.

Im really considering this grifting thing though...

it might not be such a bad summer after all...

excepting the whole insane missing you thing.

talked to Craig W. tonight.

again. about his girl.

In the end...my advice was out-voted.

It seems that he wants "love" to be safe...

I cant see how that can be.

It seems to me to be an inherently risky venture.

I fight all the time with the idea of withdrawing from you,

being less open, all in the interest of safety.

But I just like you too damn much.

Your worth getting hurt over.

alright...Im going to close this one off...

and do my horrible "song of the night" thing.

Im going to promise myself that I wont write you again tonight...

not because I don't want to...

but because I should run, and do some fictional writing.