sleeplessness talk to me

I tried to go to bed.
but I had to write you one more time.
or maybe Ill just sit here and think about you...
look at that picture I have of you sticking your tongue out.
(which I love, incidently)

i had this whole thing I was going to write tonight
comparing loving you to math.
im glad that jeremy interupted me.
I think it would have been silly.
It seems clear to me now its much more
like making crepes ;)

I was in the store today...
and Kenn starts to tell me how
the more options one has...
the harder it is to be satisfied
with what you have.
I disagreed; I said
"the more options I have, the better
I feel about the choice Ive made"
he informed me that this statement
was a product of my fuzzy thinking.
Im pretty sure we were talking about glasses...

Chris is up.
Hes not feeling well.
I wonder about him...
how he is doing.
Im afraid to say that he
is one of my cautionary examples
he seems to...
wait...whats this?
nevermind.

I say: you know
the silence is as important as the notes
(what does that even mean? he seems to have bought it)

Im going to let you in on a little secret faith...
most of the time...I have no idea what the hell Im saying

whats important is not making sense,
but having a reputation for making sense.
I picked one up at some point...which means
that now, in the right group of people,
I can say some complete nonsense like
"the silence is as important as the notes"
and be met with no opposition.

I should really be evil.

There are different kinds of missing I think.
Strains of missingness.
I can identify at least 5 distinct varieties.
This song makes me miss you in that
"I cant stop smiling 'cause YOU'RE so stellar" way.

Chris tells me that no matter how much you love someone
you still need breaks from them. Is that true? Probably...I guess.
Thats why I like the idea of us both traveling about...
I always want to miss you when your gone.

I love staying up and writing you.
Does it sound strange to say that I like
giving things up for you? I do.
Im sorry If thats creepy.

Rachet better have my shirt ready tomorrow
like in the deal.

alright

bed...ish.

I wish I could talk to you as I fell asleep...
le sigh.